Sleeping Horse
When I was around 14 or 15 years old, I was visiting with my grandparents in Marystown, NL. There was a movie theatre
next door, so I decided to go to the movie with some of my friends. After the movie, i waked a girl home. Now I wasn't
all that brave and we had to pass three cemeteries and walk about 2 miles from my Grandparents home. There were no street
lights and the only light was from the moon. It wasn't too bad, having someone with you but after a quick kiss good night
i had to walk home alone. To be truthful, I was afraid.
Running
in the dark, I passed the three cemeteries with my head turned in the opposite direction. After passing the last cemetery,
I was only about a quarter mile from the house. I could see the light from the kerosine lamp.
Then, I brought up solid.,,there was a whine and I screamed. My grandfather was coming up to meet me and he heard
the scream..Apparently a horse was standing, sleeping in the middle of the bridge and I had ran into its rear end. I knew
what I hit but I often wonder if that horse ever stopped running.
Steve
1. Grimace painfully
while smacking your forehead and muttering, 'Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!'
2.
Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World' incessantly.
3. Sell Girl
Scout cookies.
4. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
5. Shave.
6. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering
inside ask: 'Got enough air in there?'
7. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the
elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
8. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the
wall, without getting off.
9. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors
open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
10. Greet everyone getting on the
elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
11. On the highest floor,
hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at
the bottom.
12. Do Tai Chi exercises.
13. Stare, grinning, at
another passenger for a while, and then announce: 'I've got new socks on!'
14.
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, 'Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!'
15. Meow occasionally.
18. Frown and mutter 'gotta go, gotta go' then sigh
and say 'oops!'
19. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
20. Sing 'Mary had a little lamb' while continually pushing buttons.
21.
Holler 'Chutes away!' whenever the elevator descends.
22. Leave a box between the doors.
23. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
24. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers 'through' it.
25.
Start a sing-along.
26. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask 'is that your
beeper?'
27. Play the harmonica.
28. Say 'Ding!'
at each floor.
29. Lean against the button panel.
30. Say 'I
wonder what all these do' and push the red buttons.
31. Listen to the elevator walls with
a stethoscope.
32. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers
that this is your 'personal space.'
33. Bring a chair along.
34. Blow spit bubbles.
35. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
36. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
37. Make explosion noises
when anyone presses a button.
38. Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other
passengers.
39. Stare at your thumb and say 'I think it's getting larger.'
40. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler 'Bad touch!'
